Gas Siphoning???????????

The other night, someone siphoned gas out of my husband's work truck. They even stole the gas cap! There was only about 5 gallons in there, but it's still the creepy thought of someone lurking in the dark outside, waiting to steal anything that isn't apparently nailed down. Is our country that desperate now? To act like we're all bad guys in some "B" movie? Have we no shame? I shudder to think of what's next.

No Prom for Gays?????????????

If this isn't ridiculous, I don't know what is. A prom is cancelled due to a female student wanting to bring a gay date. What kind of crap are we teaching our kids today? Homophobia? Perhaps they should be sent to Somalia where the "good Christian" folks have instilled a desire in the locals to hang gay people.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_lesbian_prom_date

Fixodent Dangerous??????????

Well the news on the street now is that Fixodent, Poligrip and most other dental adhesives may cause neuro-muscular side effects due to the zinc in the ingrediants. A simple blood test can determine whether you have this problem or not.  If you do, your zinc levels will be high and your copper level depleted. Since I have been dropping almost everything I touch for the past 3 months and my coordination is that of a drunk person, I'll be looking into this. I've used Fixodent for 12 years now.  Don't take my word for it though, Google it yourself.  There is scientific research that supports this. 

Oh, HELL. What next?????????????

Giving to the Poor

I slipped a $20 dollar bill to a newspaper vendor the other day and told him to keep the change. He was one of the many who stand all day on our highway medians hawking papers. As he took the money, I said "God bless" and became to him just another sap who thinks they're saving someone's soul with a few bucks.  I meant well but realized my error immediately. Just as we stereotype them, the poor stereotype US. I wanted to call him back, to explain that I don't give a shit whether he gets drunk, stoned or laid with the money, that I gave it with free will and no expectations. I wasn't trying to save his soul, although I hope he used it to buy groceries or pay rent.  It was just a simple gift.  Simple, but not so simple.

Doodling??????????

A 12-year-old girl was arrested last Monday for doodling on her desk in Queens, NYC.  She was taken to the police station in handcuffs.  She didn't write anything profane.  Now she has to do 8 hours of community service, a book report and an essay on what she's learned from the experience. Making her scrub her desk after school would have been the proper "punishment" here. Our schools are totally OUT of control. And don't try taking Midol or nail clippers to school either. Or a gun made of Legos, cause your dad's a cop and you think he's cool.

The Ugly American

I tried to be a good American consumer today. I bought a pair of shoes--first pair in two years. They look like a cross between earth shoes and orthopedics. Comfy though. Then I bought a plasma TV. It's too big for the entertainment center. Right now, we're trying to decide whether to take it back or get out the chainsaw.

My idea of the perfect American consumer is Milo Minderbinder*, who bought too much Egyptian cotton and so was forced to come up with creative ways to market it, such as coating it with chocolate.....

(* Catch 22 by Joseph Heller)

Starbucks

Got a coffee and bagel at Starbucks today. I go about twice a year. It's always the same, filled with yuppies and self-important businessmen, toting around their laptops, having philosophical discussions. Gee, I wish I had something profound to say so I could strike up a conversation....

Salinger

So the old fart finally kicked the bucket. Yes, he wrote a GREAT American classic. Catcher in the Rye is one of my favorite books. He chose to preserve the integrity of his work above any amount of money or fame. I guess I admire that.  He lived life on his own terms and didn't feel that he owed anything to anyone. He really pisses me OFF....

Religious Freedom

Well, the Jehovah's Witnesses skipped my house today while they were out recruiting. I was almost disappointed. But we live in a great country where religions have the freedom to walk up and down the street (our neighborhood must really be sinful) and I have the freedom not to answer the door.

Take THAT, Lewis Black!

I was sitting peacefully in the doctor's office, minding my own business, when a guy dressed in full motorcycle regalia escorting an old man, comes and sits next to me. (I wondered why he had all that crap on, since the old guy could hardly walk....obviously they weren't on a Harley.)  He grumbles about how taking pills has caused his "tachocardia" to act up and how all pills are poison. Silence....and then this wonderful little gem which Lewis Black will be trying to pay me for later:

"I'll never get to the Czech Republic."

Now in my humble opinion, this is MUCH better than "if it weren't for my horse." In fact, I'm thinking of going back to the doctor next Monday, just to try and get another one. I feel for you buddy. I'll probably never get there, either.