Giving to the Poor

I slipped a $20 dollar bill to a newspaper vendor the other day and told him to keep the change. He was one of the many who stand all day on our highway medians hawking papers. As he took the money, I said "God bless" and became to him just another sap who thinks they're saving someone's soul with a few bucks.  I meant well but realized my error immediately. Just as we stereotype them, the poor stereotype US. I wanted to call him back, to explain that I don't give a shit whether he gets drunk, stoned or laid with the money, that I gave it with free will and no expectations. I wasn't trying to save his soul, although I hope he used it to buy groceries or pay rent.  It was just a simple gift.  Simple, but not so simple.

Doodling??????????

A 12-year-old girl was arrested last Monday for doodling on her desk in Queens, NYC.  She was taken to the police station in handcuffs.  She didn't write anything profane.  Now she has to do 8 hours of community service, a book report and an essay on what she's learned from the experience. Making her scrub her desk after school would have been the proper "punishment" here. Our schools are totally OUT of control. And don't try taking Midol or nail clippers to school either. Or a gun made of Legos, cause your dad's a cop and you think he's cool.

The Ugly American

I tried to be a good American consumer today. I bought a pair of shoes--first pair in two years. They look like a cross between earth shoes and orthopedics. Comfy though. Then I bought a plasma TV. It's too big for the entertainment center. Right now, we're trying to decide whether to take it back or get out the chainsaw.

My idea of the perfect American consumer is Milo Minderbinder*, who bought too much Egyptian cotton and so was forced to come up with creative ways to market it, such as coating it with chocolate.....

(* Catch 22 by Joseph Heller)

Starbucks

Got a coffee and bagel at Starbucks today. I go about twice a year. It's always the same, filled with yuppies and self-important businessmen, toting around their laptops, having philosophical discussions. Gee, I wish I had something profound to say so I could strike up a conversation....